You Love to learn or learn to reach somewhere, What’s your style ?

A common conversation between a parent and a child, when the child returns from the school is usually along these lines :

Parent : “How was your day?”

Child : “Good”

Parent : “What did you do today?  “

Child : “Nothing”

Parent : “Why?”

The Child is speechless.

Parent : “Ok Tell me how was your test?”

Child : “Went off good”

Parent : “How much do you think you will score?”

Child : “Don’t know”. And leaves.

How many of us can relate to this sequence of event ; most of us !

‘Learning’ to us, in a way is defined as something that can be measured.

The problem is that it is way too hard to state exactly “What learning is”? Or “how it happens”?

Learning as a psychological activity is something truly difficult to get a handle on. We know very little about the process. There are a lot of theories, but none of them have stood the test of time and few are based on hard data or hypotheses that are supportable.

Most educators know this fact. In order to cover up for this and to make up for the inadequacy in confronting a process that we don’t really comprehend, we do what modern man always does.

WE LABEL SOMETHING (“LEARNING”) AND “MEASURE” IT.

Then we are comfortable, because at least then we have the feeling that we have a grasp on the problem. We don’t really follow the process, but in lieu of a profound understanding of what’s going on, we find something and say, “Let’s declare this to be learning, by consensus. Then we can measure it and put it out of our minds”.

Now, this is exactly what the ENTIRE Educational system the world over has been doing: Quantify learning by breaking it up into measurable pieces – courses, hours, tests and grades.

One of the best stories about this is told by Winston Churchill, concerning his own childhood.

He was a total failure in school. To get into an exclusive high school, he had to go through the formality of an entrance exam. Of course, he knew (as did everybody else) that it made no difference, since he’d end up being accepted anyway, as one of the direct descendants of the duke of Marlborough. But there he was, faced with an entrance exam in Greek and Latin. He looked at the page for an hour and finally handed in an empty paper with his signature on it and a big smudge of ink. They gave upon him entirely and placed him in the dummies class, which learned ENGLISH. So, it happened that Winston Churchill opened his entire high school studying English literature, whereas all the successful “Cultured” people learned   Greek and Latin. It hardly needs a mention that Churchill ended up being one of the finest stylists in the English language in the twentieth century.

The story above mentions that the restraints on the freedom of movement, thought control, obedience and punishment for disobedience, all cannot stop human brain to excel. The system should not focus on outcomes but should give space to children and their learning. If they spend time thinking and learning without being even bothered of the outcome, they surely will be able to think better in their life ahead. Learning will then be taking place and there will hardly be any need to measure it. A perfect blend of environment and freedom works.

Environment that we create for children affects their genes.

For this biological information not to be disturbing, we may need to understand how we can be in charge of own lives in this mechanistic view. Biology makes how we react to our mistakes the only freewill available. All our behaviours are the result of what our brain learned from our environment, so even our attempts at change are programed. We need to be patient as we make even the smallest improvement to our responses to mistakes.

This all makes it crucial that we understand that our thinking is an environment. It is something we can change by noticing-critical thinking-when our thinking isn’t effective. Without critical thinking we are stuck with the other effects of our environment, and all of us have been given limitations by things that went wrong in our environment. If we can’t change our behaviours over time, with patience, it is disturbing that we are too much like a machine.

Don’t you think the time has come, we should give space and time to our children to discover themselves?  

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Top 10 Ways to Develop Self-Awareness

Private consultations have always been close to my heart. Last three days, gave me an opportunity to connect with 9 people for an hour each. The conversations made me realise that, there is something in us that distance us from being SELF AWARE. I resorted to researching about many people post that and realised that there is a need to find ways to be more aware about our eco system and give ourselves a stimulation to be on our journey to achieve things that we decide for ourselves.

It’s awareness of  habits, emotional tendencies, needs, desires, strengths, and weaknesses.

Having a high level of self-awareness is a powerful tool. It allows you to change your life more effectively, since you know how you tick. Those that lack self-awareness find life to be frustrating.

Develop your self-awareness:

1. Notice your thoughts. Unless you’ve been meditating for years, your mind is constantly churning through ideas and endlessly providing commentary. You can’t just look at a tree and admire it, your mind has to comment, “That’s a beautiful tree.” Then it’s off to the races.

  • Notice your thinking patterns. What are you thinking when you’re feeling nervous? Bored? Interested? Walking down the street? Notice that similar situations result in similar thought patterns.
  • Do you judge people and situations? Do you spend a lot of time thinking about the past or the future? Do you expect the worst to happen or the best? Or do you adopt an attitude of, “Let’s just see what happens”?

2. Notice your feelings. What are you feeling throughout the day? What do you feel while you’re eating? Driving to work? Lying in bed? Waiting in line?

  • Once you’ve notice your emotion, question it. What am I feeling? Why? What do I need right now? How do I normally react in this situation? Is that smart?

3. Understand how you deal with frustration or emotional discomfort.

A huge chunk of your time is spent trying to make yourself feel better.

If you feel slightly frustrated or uncomfortable, then you may spend a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to change the situation or the others around you to resolve those negative feelings.

  • Do you try to control others? Do you attempt to distract yourself? Is your first instinct to leave the situation? Do you surf the internet or eat a big bowl of ice cream?

4. Examine your friendships. Where do you find your friends? Are most of your friendships long-term or short? When your friendships end, what is the common cause? What types of people do you prefer to be friends with? What types of people do you avoid?

5. Examine your intimate relationships. Do you see a pattern in the type of people that you’ve been involved with? What are the negative characteristics they all share? Why do you think those people appealed to you?

  • What were your shortcomings in your relationships? Are you clingy? Jealous? Too focused on work? Failed to communicate your needs? Think about how you contributed to the failure of your relationships.
  • Have you changed your approach from relationship to relationship, or do you continue to repeat your mistakes?

6. Keep a journal. There’s no better way to learn about yourself than to record your thoughts, feelings, and experiences each day.

Studies have shown that we don’t remember our past very accurately, so record it while it’s still fresh in your mind.

Be sure to include your high and low points for the day.

  • Note how well you ate and slept, too. You might find some useful information.
  • Create a habit of writing in your journal for at least 15 minutes each day. You’ll start to notice patterns and learn a lot about yourself.

7. Write your own manifesto. Think about and then document your views on life, your goals, and your intentions. You might be surprised by what you write. This is a great first step for understanding yourself and your beliefs.


8. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses.
How do you know? Are you certain? Avoid jumping to conclusions. You may have always believed that you’re a hard worker, but are you? To whom are you comparing yourself? Provide yourself with proof before you make any decisions.

9. What would others say about you? Consider how your partner, children, friends, family, co-workers, and boss would describe you. What would they suggest you improve about yourself? Then ask them and see how accurate you are. Do you know how others perceive you? Find out how perceptive you are.

10. Meditate. Meditation is all about developing a better awareness of the present moment and yourself. Meditation is an ideal activity for enhancing self-awareness.

  • Meditate at least once each day. Spend the rest of the day paying attention to yourself, others, and your surroundings. You can develop a higher degree of self-awareness by just paying attention.
  • Question yourself throughout the day. “What am I attempting to achieve?” “What emotions am I currently feeling and why?” “What are the people around me feeling?”


Understanding yourself might be the most important part of becoming and living authentically.

Here’s what you need to do :

Spend a few days noticing your feelings. Do you see patterns emerging in similar situations?

The answers are for you to reflect on and act upon.

Schools Vs Learners

Learning is active. It involves reaching out of the mind. It involves organic assimilation starting from within. It is a child and not the subject-matter which determines both quality and quantity of learning.

                                                                                                                                         —John Dewey

Schools are caught up with structuring assignments and exercises for youngsters nowadays, with incredible thoroughness. In any case, do we even idea on what sort of exercises would we say we are planning for kids? One side we talk about pushing instruction framework away from the study classrooms and on the opposite side we are losing on this open door when youngsters are in reality away from the schools and their study rooms. Customary messages from schools to guardians, schools demanding youngsters to get up promptly toward the beginning of the day and be available online(and not look lethargic) and envision that too wearing school uniform(a not many of them), educators needing kids to be on the web and react to the inquiries that they have for them, saying great morning every day, this is the shape that has been given to the VIRTUAL SCHOOLS.

Youngsters barely have such chances to be at home when the entire family is near. What’s more, anybody can ask for, learning starts on autopilot here in such an ecosystem. Their portrayal framework is so dynamic as there is a great deal of common incitement their way. There are individuals around them to converse with them, to draw in with them in the most creative way. Why not we (schools/instructors) simply assume our job to open the guardians to the manners in which they can facilitate kids at home. It’s for the most part about drilling down those key focuses that guardians at home can fare thee well and make this period the time of building compatibility and learning together. Indeed, innovation can be a piece of this period of quarantine yet not in the manner it is continued. Jumping on to Zoom calls with youngsters and expecting them to be present there and follow guidelines drove methodology of learning is nothing less than Coercion.

Technology is nothing. What’s important is that you have a faith in people, that they are basically good and smart, and if you give them tools, they will do wonderful things with them.

                                                                                                                           —–Steve Jobs

The concern is, are individuals who are in the field of education truly trust commendable??? (especially when it comes to virtual classrooms)

Do they know what innovation-driven learning is?

I need to impart to all of you that I am vigorously affected by the thoughts of JEAN PIAGET, the notable twentieth-century Swiss Psychologist. Piaget had faith in a constructivist perspective on scholarly improvement, in which kids fabricate their insight over time through play and experimentation and the communication of new thoughts with existing mental models.to him, Education is a process.

In light of it and on my own experience being with youngsters for over 2 decades now, I accept Children appear to be intrinsically talented students, securing some time before they go to class a tremendous amount of information by a procedure I call “Piagetian Learning” or “learning without being educated”(Schema).  Presently what is most significant is to analyze what are the resources that ought to be caused accessible for youngsters so they can learn without being educated, progressively like the manner in which a kid figures out how to talk, a procedure that happens without purposeful and sorted out instruction.

The path towards it is to ask youngsters, what is that they need to realize, when, how and from whom?  How is that they want to work? Also, Where is that they can apply what they are self-learning? 

This is something that resembles a fantasy if kids are in traditional school settings. Yet, today kids are HOME. They can be liberated to think about their direction.

Truly, innovation is the best approach yet WHAT is it that is going to lead them to self-coordinated learning is to be analyzed and this is the job we have to play as teachers or in this case as parents, in today’s situation.

My proposals to Educators are: how about we be flighty in any event NOW for quite a while, as we can stand to do it.

1.       Let them plan their week and send it back to you. (you can give them a rundown of things they can browse)

2.       Why morning? Why not at night we can associate with youngsters? They love to do various things to feel in an unexpected way. (let them rest toward the beginning of the day)

3.       Give them their cutoff times. You can associate with them again once you arrive at that cutoff time date.

4.       Why books once more? Let them have intriguing inquiries and as teachers, your job is to plan those incredible questions around which kids get ready for marriage. (completely engaged)

5.       Empower them with all the applications and delicate products accessible online that can assist them with building their learning.

6.       For early childhood learners, this is the most wonderful time of FREE PLAY and they are learning as time passes. So why an educational plan for them. Train their parents to reveal to them STORIES and connect with them at home all day by day life tasks(especially the KITCHEN area). Learning will be at its best.

Believe this period as an OPPORTUNITY to BE diverse to have the option to FEEL unique.

ONE LINE REFLECTIONS FROM MY LEARNINGS ( from masters) FOR YOU

1.     It’s not important to correct the Child always.

2.     Too much intervention in the child’s learning takes away the chance of discovery from the child.

3.     There is no point expecting children to think like you or better than you.

4.     Play can be treated as a mental and cognitive concept.

5.     Intelligence is what you use when you don’t know what to do.

6.     Let children unsettle as this is how they will be curious.

7.     Be prepared in advance for activity as it’s not fair to intervene when children are on it.

8.     Wear lenses of different perspectives before being Judgementle about a child’s capabilities.

9.     Let children take time to accomplish a task as in their head they experience and explore a lot before they arrive at an outcome.

10. Don’t just teach them, convert their interest into an educative experience.

Can We See OPPORTUNITIES In This Era Of Crisis?

It is quite mind-stressing for me to see the level of fear and uncertainty that we all are currently experiencing. It’s good to talk about resourceful things but to a large extent  it’s not evident in people today, people’s faces; their voice while talking, their non-stop care that they are showcasing while being at home, for their family all are showing a SCARE.

This SCARE  is not only originating from facing a crisis in work, economy, and our homes but it is also because now we are SCARED OF EACH OTHER. This is very natural though; but not the only way to live.

This situation reminds me of a child who keeps trying to skate even after falling a thousand times while learning to skate. Without being scared child sets on to learning the skill, each day. This could be because he believes in himself. He has FAITH in him.

Likewise, today we all are in that uncomfortable state. In isolation, trying to save ourselves; Let’s not lose FAITH. Any situation that occurs doesn’t last forever. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. The only thing that I feel we can focus on, is to find that light- Do we see some opportunities in this era of crisis?

I strongly believe that success comes to them who are always prepared and planned.  Why not take this time as an opportunity to be planned and prepared for our future.  If you sit back and think on these lines-you will find a very strong unconscious part of you,  who  knows what’s right and what is supposed to be done at this point in time.

My request is to count on that part of you, which is capable, which is full of information and experience. Take all the suggestions from it, and work on areas, that you never got an opportunity to spend time on. Maybe:

-your relationships

-your own health

– your dreams

-your future plans

-your strategies and so on.

  Help your family overcome this fear and breakthrough this moment of discomfort.

Worries are like those emotional messages that our mind sends us, because it is trying to work out for us. Acknowledging receipt of these messages are often all you need to do to make them go away, for you will pick your mind into believing that you have taken action.

I have a small exercise to share with you-

1.       Make a box-any box and name it “worry box”.

2.       Each time you feel worried, get a paper and pen down your worry.

3.       Also, write what might be making you feel like this. And then fold the paper and drop it in the box.

4.       This way, your unconscious mind (a part of you) will receive a message of being heard and the action taken.

5.       Each time you do this and you will find the worries cease to keep nagging you.

6.       At the end of the week, open the box and read, but, you will find most of the worries are taken care off without requiring any action from you whatsoever.

LEARNING: MOST OF THE THINGS THAT WE WORRY ABOUT NEVER HAPPEN.

What is AGENCY?

A couple of years ago, I heard someone talking about educational reform. This person talked about a goal, to which he named “Agency”. Now this word struck a chord.

In a way, we all indulged in multiple things in order to let our children have this AGENCY. To be able to elaborate on it or define it is not really easy, but I think it means the self-confidence and competence it takes to collaborate with the world. Also its about trusting on your own independence. A free agent-and agency, to some extent, concentrates on its definition as someone whose deeds are not restricted or constrained by others.

Sadly, the excessive, the instructional intervention is in schools, the much less agency, in fact, students are in a position to develop. They are extra likely to become sheep than free agents, unless by some great chance they deny believing; that schools are performing in their exceptional and best interests.

More often, I witness the parents, quite busy figuring out, and being extravagant towards the program that they feel can develop those traits of AGENCY. But the question is what happens when they actually see children exhibiting agency?

Strong denial is seen. Adults progress, as one of their goals, a desire to change the child’s life, a desire to change the world. This has been trumpeted as a goal for hundreds of years. This presupposes that there is no real human problem that won’t be solved-in the generation to come -if children spend enough time being conformists and follow the schools and adults around them.

Parents, schools, should aim at, NOT having a desire to change the world, but on being prepared for the future. Should be able to encourage AGENCY. Should be able to rely on the natural genius of children to navigate the world of ideas. The culture should be such where children can discuss, play with, think about, and consider ideas.

To me, any kind of effort to change the world is political because it presumes a particular way in which the world should be changed. This is not what is paving towards empowerment. From the point of view of a child, there are problems. Children feel if adults get this in their heads that, we may not naturally follow their expected prescriptions, they will take actions to cajole or threaten us to be different. This is at the heart of the coercive model that pervades the education system. This is done because from ages it is believed that changing the world is more important than treating children humanely or respecting them as independent persons.

The need for the time is to start treating children as individuals who can have the freedom to say, do, think, in their own way. This is how creativity will breathe, innovations will fly in the air, Decisiveness will be their natural trait.

Humans Learn Naturally

Children come into our world with the desire to learn and are genetically programmed with explicit capacities for learning. They are tiny learning machines. Within their initial four years they absorb a huge amount of information and skills without any formal instruction. After four years their enormous desire and capacity to learn rather turns off, with our coercive system of schooling.

I observed the ways in which my young preschoolers mastered new skills. I also realized how different their time tables were. A few of them, rolled earlier and sat up later. Some don’t even crawl and they just walk. Information given to me through their parents had vast differences and I had always appreciated these differences in human development and wondered why we expect certain things at certain time, in certain ways from children. Their natural development is incredibly distinct. How control an age-segregated, one size fits all system of mass schooling possibly appreciate and accommodate the vast diversity of the human experiences? Schooling has become more standardized and test-driven as compared to the one we had. Pressure on children is increased , more parents are questioning this approach of education. They are seeing the striking correlation between decreasing childhood free play and increasing mental health disorders in children.

These parents may see how their childrens’ creativity has waned and their enthusiasm for learning has dwindled, replaced by extrinsic motivation and a determination to simply make it through the day without bullying or condescension (LEARNING FOR THE SAKE OF LEARNING DISSAPPEARS).

Imagine a system where creativity and ingenuity will be our key cultural and economic drives. Educators and  even parents should know that learning anything is most effective , most fulfilling, when it is self-directed, when the freedom to learn is provided , when the resources are available , when time and space for learning are offered , and when knowledgeable and supportive facilitators are available to help if needed.

Forced schooling might not help children in the years to come . Mass schooling , to some extent, ignores the cultural and economic realities of a new human era. Instead of robots, we need inventive thinkers, curious seekers and passionate doers. Inventiveness, curiosity and passion are all characteristics that young children naturally exude. We don’t need to train them for the jobs of the future. We desperately need to ensure a new paradigm of education.

We need to let go of the notion –something someone does to someone else-and instead reclaim learning-something humans naturally do in order to preserve a good planet in a new age of innovation ,information and imagination.

What’s different with juvenile’s ?

I wondered what these kids did. I looked at each one, trying to guess his crime. “Maybe he robbed a store, maybe he killed somebody, maybe he was selling drugs.” Some people might ask, why would I want to write a story about juveniles in prison? Why would anyone want to read what these criminals have to say? Who cares? It’s easy to judge juvenile criminals as bad kids, but not so easy when you’re looking into the eyes of a teenager who is going to spend life in jail.

“I saw children who were charged as adults, they were just a little older than primary class children, and it ruined their lives,” Amar (juvenile’s name changed) said , “When you’re 13 and you don’t know when you will be out, it sets you up to be a criminal. Nobody is going to want to hire you. You’re going to be forced back to a life of crime.” After I got released from there, I was still on probation. I then started smoking pot, drinking, fighting, and skipping school. So I continuously and gradually got into more trouble.

I know there are victims of violent crimes whose voices go unheard. But recognize that some people who commit crimes have many reasons behind their actions. It’s a CYCLE. This is what happens to kids who didn’t have direction or anybody who cared, who had to learn about life the hard way. They were brought up this way so that’s how they’re going to treat others. Sometimes, it’s okay to give a voice to the “villains.” They have been victims too.

I could see most of them were from a broken home because of which they were hurt and and lost, and felt alone. They were angry/hurt at their family, for how they were treated and being around things and seeing things that a child shouldn’t have to see. They just needed to talk about everything that hurt them in their life and get it off their chest. They never wanted to let those feeling of hurt build up anymore and allow them to turn into anger.

The journey of diagnosing their MAP started here. One on one I met them all and felt, that the most potential resource on the planet is wasted.
The need is not only to guide them but to help them empty their cup. Their past experiences, their eco system, the information that they bare in their head, their perceptions, all needed a revamp.

They were hardly helped with their social skills and coping skills. How to deal with struggles that life throws or how to respond to a certain situation are like, not known subjects for them. To me their world is full of unresourceful sensory experiences. But the beauty is in finding their preferred representation system so that a needful change can be brought.

This is not only with them but with any human. Sometimes people are biased towards one sensory system, known as the preferred representational system or PRS. Phrases such as “I see your point” may signal a visual PRS. Or “I hear your point” may signal an auditory PRS. So we can detect this preference through language. And consciously use language to bring about a change in people’s thoughts and behaviours.
My journey is on, and I have been trying to design the framework that involves rapport-building, information-gathering, and goal-setting with them. I am sure this is going to be a breakthrough for them and for me as well.

IF THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IN A PARTICULAR WAY IN PAST
THAT DOSENT MEAN IT WILL BE THE SAME IN FUTURE.
THIS SHIFT OF THOUGHT IS REQUIRED AND A NEW BLUE PRINT IS POSSIBLE.

Complaints about our children are usually a reflection of our own limitations

Every so often, I hear complaints from parents about their children’s behaviour. I, too, have not been immune to complaining about my children. But what I have come to realize is that this complaining on our part is not so much an issue of our children’s behaviour or mental state, rather it’s an issue of our limitations.

Parents often deliberate over how their children are impatient, discussing how they refuse to wait for anything that doesn’t serve their own purpose and happiness. However, this makes me think about how we don’t teach them to be patient. How we, ourselves, sometimes have been impatient with our children and fail to realize that they’ve learned to be impatient from us. Do we constantly demand that they follow our instructions as we tell them to? Do we demand that they should do what we say immediately?

By coaching parents and helping them understand, by asking the right question, we can help create a roadmap towards creating a shift in the parents’ behaviour and subsequently create a shift in the children’s life and behaviour too. 

As parents, teachers and caregivers, we hold positions that highly influence a child’s development. Therefore, it’s important for us to understand and determine the channels through which children receive information that designs their behaviour or that which leads to behavioural change. This information can help ascertain why children behave the way they do and how we can help aid their growth and development.

If a child’s internal representation system is diagnosed, it can become a wonderful tool for empowering educators and parents to present their language in a way that helps them reach the child effectively. By understanding how children perceive the world, we can aid the development of a rapport that helps with the creation and innovation of a child’s life and also the life of the people around that child.

However, this process is best started at an early age. The early years of a child are the formative years and they are critical in shaping the child’s development. That being said, there are ample case studies that validate how an ecosystem designed by an adult impacts the child’s neurology. 

To get a better reference on how children behave and what we, as adults, do to influence their behaviour, we can think about how we behaved when we were young children. By understanding what we did and why we did it, we can paint a clearer picture about why our children behave the way they do, while considering our impact on their behaviour. Children learn from their parents, but parents aren’t always aware of what they are teaching their kids. It’s not just our words, our actions and behaviours can be learned as well.

So, the next time you think about how your child is behaving badly, try considering why that is and what you could have done to cause it. We need to be better role models for our children. At House of Learning, we help parents see the bigger picture of their child’s development. To take a look at everything that influences your child’s development, get in touch with us. 

Children feel what you’re thinking, even if you don’t say it

As parents, we love our children more than we could ever express. We want to be there for them whenever they need us and support them in whatever way we can. However, sometimes our actions betray our words. Our emotions can get the best of us and our body language speaks volumes even when we’re mindful of what we say. Unfortunately, children often pick up on these unintentional signals, which can later have a dramatic effect on their well-being and development.

Parenting can often be a complex journey that is rife with diverse experiences, but the destination we reach may sometimes be a wrong turn that we make when we let our emotions take the wheel. It is indeed important to be mindful of what we say to children but is also equally important to be conscious of the environment that we create for our children.

Children must feel secure and happy, to be honest about how they feel and what they want to do.  However, when we don’t respect their emotions, we cater to their doubts instead of their confidence. When we shout, yell or get annoyed, we contribute towards creating an atmosphere that a child may not find supportive. Therefore, it becomes incumbent on parents to educate themselves on how to create a conducive environment for their child’s growth and development.

What we often fail to take into consideration is that children start developing much before we take notice of it. 4 weeks after conception, the neural tube along the baby’s back starts closing and the baby’s brain and spinal cord begin to develop from it. Thereafter, the heart and other organs also start developing. Structures necessary for the development of the eyes and ears start forming too. By the 10th week, the baby is a recognizable human and starts developing features that will be evident at the time of its birth. Babies begin processing information much before they are born; studies have found that babies start to listen and learn words while still in the womb.

Are we being careful with regards to the information that we provide to these developing children? We need to plan to become resourceful parents even before a baby is born. We need to ensure that the stimulus that we provide to our children helps further their growth. It is at this point that we need to ponder over how we can be resourceful parents.

We need to be mindful of more than just what we say; we need to take into consideration how we feel because our emotions, in turn, will affect the way we act and how we make our children feel. Although the concept seems simple, it’s a complex process that requires continuous effort and practice.

Training ourselves to be mindful of our emotional states and body language, especially when we’re caught in dicey situations, can aid the development of children. By focusing on our emotional states, but not giving in to them, we set a precedent for us to be honest and supportive. Being a resourceful parent is about taking control of your emotions and reacting appropriately while keeping in mind the best outcome for the children. After all, children can tell when we’re honest with them and when we say things we don’t mean. So, to aid the development of our children and ensure that their growth is not hampered by our well-intentioned actions, we need to take a hold over our emotions and respect how they feel. What we say, do and think can affect their behaviour, but it is not out of our control. By becoming resourceful parents and being aware of our emotional states, we can do our best to give our children the care that they deserve.

Enabling a transformation for a more prepared future

Our current education system is not only one that aims to shape our students’ lives, but also attempts to shape the future. However, this approach to learning is not only flawed but also frail. As much as we try, we can neither predict the future nor mould it completely to our liking. Technology has disrupted convention and it continues to do so at an alarming pace; what we think is assured today may not be so tomorrow. That being said, while we make note that the future may not turn out as we wish, we can be positive as even if we cannot predict the future, we can be prepared for its unpredictability.

Disruptive changes to business models will bring about a drastic change in the landscape of employment. A popular estimate, as stated in the world economic forum in the ‘Future of Jobs’ report, claims that 65% of children entering primary school will work in completely new job types, which do not currently exist, in the future. Therefore, to ensure that learners today are prepared for a future tomorrow, the Indian education system must be able to endow students with the skills that will be essential for future ‘unknown’ careers.

The system will need to foster a sense of creativity and lifelong learning to harness the talents of the youth for future economic prosperity. To that end, the draft National Education Policy (NEP 2019) is a step towards evoking the transformation that our frail system needs. The daft calls for changes in pedagogy and the development of teaching capacity and skills, and facilitates increased interaction in classrooms and schools through teaching approaches and modernized facilities. But, a sizable wrench in the system is that the previous budget allocated to schools had undercut the implementation of these provisions. It did not completely facilitate an opportunity for growth.

Now, the budget for 2020 has allocated Rs 99,300 crores for the education sector and Rs 3000 crore for skill development. It is a step towards the paradigm shift that will bring about the transformation for a more prepared tomorrow, which will constitute a better rate of employment. But alas, there is still one question left unanswered.

Why has there not been a budget allocated specifically for pre-primary and primary years?

Early years development makes the youth more resourceful and enables a better foundation for future learning, which is critical for being prepared. Education is a key component in enabling the future workforce of our nation, and it needs to start with an enhanced early years education. After all, those are the years that aid the designing of a child’s blueprint. So, we need to start a conversation to enable its development. Ultimately, to encourage a transformation of the academic system, the focus needs to be put on early settings as well as higher education. Together, they both further an improvement in learning outcomes.

AT HOL, we advocate for better provisions in the early years of learning. However, it is up to all of us to enable the transformation of our current system and to enable the transformation of education, as a whole.

Inculcating internationalism – a spirit of unity and acceptance

Acceptance and tolerance have become a necessity for humans, as a whole, to live in peaceful co-existence. Various cultures are fighting against oppression, seeking liberation and acceptance in a world where diversity is being blatantly rejected. However, cultural diversity is at a high-point, and it has become evident that we need to promote a spirit of unity to create a world where we can work together and cooperate with one another. The challenges that we may face as inhabitants of this planet will require a unified front.

To that end, it has become incumbent on schools to raise global citizens. ‘Internationalism’ as a concept helps promote a spirit of unity and acceptance. Taught in classrooms, it emphasizes why children need to learn to be more compassionate as well as more aware of things happening all around the world.

However, as a concept taught in classrooms, it does not provide the depth that children need to experience and understand prevalent issues. While letting children explore and debate over national issues is pertinent, children, as well as other individuals, need to travel around the world, meet other people and experience different cultures to broaden their view and have a deeper understanding of what they have learned. Travelling provides a deeper capability of reflection, as it enables first-hand experiences and perspectives.

It is time that we let children who study various aspects of the world experience it. Education needs to move from books to the real world, from history to the present and future, and from theoretical to practical and experiential. Education needs to become about opening the world to our children; the students who want to learn more and do more.

The more children travel, the greater their chance for opportunities to connect with other people of different religions, cultures, upbringings, and skills. Travelling enables children to experience different styles of thinking and perspectives on society and the world, at large. It brings forth a realization that the world is bigger than we know. Just like the frog in the well, our children too need to get out to understand the world they live in. We must give our children a better view of the world than that through a map.

Such a global perspective can be brought into classrooms only if introduced at a school level. That being said, the path to reaching a global understanding doesn’t have to start big. We can start by enabling collaboration on a smaller scale. Practices like meetings between students with different subjects, one class learning or interacting with another class, inter-school collaborations, co-creation, etc. can pave the way for internationalism and the development of global citizens. We need to create a forum to usher in a change that isn’t only applicable to our settings, but more importantly, to our mindsets.

This sort of internal change, once initiated, can become innate. It can become a generally accepted practice and spread across schools. Today schools are slowly attempting to make international trips a possibility, however, funding can be a major issue, as can be parental acceptance. So, connect with us. At HOL, we help schools, teachers, and parents understand how to bring about a change that will benefit the children.

DISHA – The Resourceful Direction

CREATING NEW BLUEPRINT FOR YOU

3 Days Retreat Program by Sonal Ahuja (27-29 March 2020)

DISHA means direction.

Don’t you feel that our life is actually a direction that we take?  Be it a profession, parenting, friendship, business, learning or anything that we do in our life. Every act of ours tells us to move in a particular direction. The direction that we CHOOSE for us. 

Sometimes our own choices lead us to the unresourceful direction and we start doubting our capabilities. Isn’t it??

But I must say that changes in your life begin with changes in you.

And also the time we take to actually start working on very thoughtful CHOICES FOR OUR LIFE.

The program that we will embark together is going to be the most transforming experience for all. We will be exposing the group to the most beautiful ecosystem that will play a trigger for all to shift their states and start designing a new blueprint for their life. 

For Educators, it is going to be a program that will install new capabilities to be able to build great rapport with students and colleagues. 

For Parents, it will play like a magic wand as it will help parents to understand children better and offer their children a relationship that they can use for their growth.

For Entrepreneurs, it will help them compress their timeline and reach their set goal much faster.

DISHA IS A PROGRAM FOR ALL.

Not at all a lecture-based setting. This is going to be a very comprehensive and enjoyable journey for participants. I have always believed that your success can break you free from the time and money loop And that it can save a failing relationship. People who are in struggle also end up spending less quality time with their loved ones.

I want you to know WHY it is important to Accelerate Your Success as well as HOW you can do it and WHAT you need to do now to get this in your life IMMEDIATELY. 

So just dive in this program so that I can meet you and bring those shifts. This is the reason we keep our batch size very small. Just 12 of you and ME.

Be with yourself for 3 days at the beautiful destination KOTABAGH, UTTARAKHAND.

Just choose right and be on the path to success. Remember I said changes in your life begin with changes in you.

So what are you waiting for?

Using words to bring a change

Our nervous system, including our senses, gathers around 11 million bits of information per second about what is happening around us. However, this vast amount of information can overload our mind and thus our brain filters or condenses it down to about 40 bits per second for conscious processing.

The senses through which we experience the world and bring information to our conscious mind is called ‘Representational System’. We rely upon this system to gather information through the things we see, hear and feel. It is this information that we process that adds to our learning. It’s interesting that this type of learning, through our senses, is almost like we have a magical stick in our hand to gather information. And what’s more, is that we can make use of this information while we are communicating with our children and raising and educating them.

I often find myself surrounded by questions like ‘Have we ever thought about what kind of images we are creating around our children?’, ‘How are we making our children feel?’ and more importantly, ‘Have we ever tried to be selective in choosing our words while communicating with our children?’

Feelings as well as the words we use and hear, those spoken by others and the ones we say to ourselves, affect the designs of our internal dialogue and the images that we create in our heads. Our brain uses both external senses and internal feelings to create the representation of the world we experience. This is similar for children, but the world they experience and the representations that they create are different from that of an adult.

If you find yourself struggling to have a beautiful relationship or an effective channel of communication with your children, being considerate of the words you use when you speak to them could help you. This can apply to parents as well as educators, who wish to gain the respect of children in the classroom. It is important to understand that using the right words can always produce better results than labelling children and calling them names, which can be the outcome of ineffective communication.

I had a realization during a conversation with my daughter. She recently mentioned that she will be graduating soon and told us the date of the graduation ceremony. Without even thinking twice, I subconsciously made a mental reminder saying “I must go”. This sudden unintentional declaration made me realize that I had already created a negative feeling that painted an uphill struggle of managing my time. However, had I said, “I am going to book my flight by Monday”, I could have embraced a different outlook on the matter. The latter would have painted a picture of a more approachable or clearly doable plan. As human beings, we are driven by the images that we create in our minds; our bodies will always follow what we see ourselves doing in our imagination. We paint the picture of what we will do by how we think and what we say. And it is this understanding that will help us improve our relationship with our children.

How many times have we witnessed young children doing exactly the opposite of what they were told? Exclamations like ‘don’t touch the water’ and ‘no more chocolates’ do not work because words like ‘don’t, ‘no’, ‘never’ and so on do not have any illustrative representations. Children cannot imagine ‘not’ doing something, but their minds can make pictures from the remaining words, i.e., ‘touch the water’, which is exactly what we do not want to happen.

In the same manner, what we say to ourselves or what we tell others can have a result that we do not wish for, should we not be careful of how we use or frame our words. The example above, though just a small representation of what could happen, applies to so much of everything we see and do each day. The words we use can have bigger repercussions on the world we experience, which is even more drastic in the case of the aftereffect of wrong words used while communicating with children. For them to process the information correctly, we need to paint a better picture. However, to do that, it’s important that we first understand a child’s neurology.

The right words and the right images will help produce resourceful actions. And I hope to help you find the right words to communicate better, both with yourself and others. It is my wish to train parents, educators and anyone who is closely associated with children, to bring a positive and beautiful change in the brain architecture of the upcoming generations.

Breaking the barriers we place on the youth

Society today is afraid of individuals that aim to disrupt the paradigm and break the norms of what has been established as ‘safe’. It’s afraid of change and the fact that the youth do not conform.
However, this fear is not one that is new. From as far back as the 4th century BC, there were researchers who questioned the boldness of the youth, even claiming them to be anti-social.
“What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets, inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?”
“The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint . . . As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behaviour and dress.”
These statements, by public figures like Plato and Peter the Hermit respectively, are in the same tune of the lamentations of society today. This disapproval of the youth has been a common sentiment of many renowned figures throughout history. We are in the midst of what has become a historically nurtured and culturally damaging phenomenon – ephebiphobia; the fear of youth. And this issue is continually getting worse.
However, to understand how we, as a society, can deal with this phobia, it’s important to first establish its root cause.
We follow a ‘no-risk’ culture, where even children’s behaviour is at times constrained. We raise and educate children “in captivity” to quell our own anxieties, which have been fuelled by instances and crimes of violent natures. In fear of being ‘unsafe’, we’ve even labelled children as troublemakers or failures because we worry about their outcomes and often fail to see their potential. Even little children have become victims of our ‘ephebiphobic’ culture, with impatient and quick-tempered teachers treating them like nursery hooligans.
While it can be admitted that there are some young people that are excessively violent and aggressive, this does not mean that every youth is a threat. We need to stop generalising. The few who are destructive are those that have been raised in deprivation and who have been shunned by society and made to feel worthless; they are incredibly vulnerable. Yet, society sees all young people as pestilent, creating devices like the Mosquito, a device designed to deter ‘loitering’ youth. However, not every youth is the same; we must realise that each one of them is a separate individual with distinct personalities and beliefs.
Our distorted perception of the youth, as a whole, has created a self-fulfilling prophecy for many, even as individuals. Why would they bother to try when they are told that they are failures? Why bother to strive when their existence is seen as a nuisance?
So many young people are eager to have their shot at life, but they often give up because of the restrictions placed on them. This starts from school, where they are blocked by an education system that narrows the definition of achievement and success. Their education revolves around targets and testing and narrowly defined notions of academic competence. Later they face rejection from a society that discriminates against them and reprimands them for participating in the development of the social and cultural landscape, which they wish to see fulfilled.

We need to bring about change. And this change needs to start with their education.
We need to stop labelling children for behaviours that need to be addressed. These labels end up sticking with them and hindering their success. Even labels like ‘failure’ in primary and secondary education can impact the hope for further or higher education. Children that misbehave often do so because they are struggling in their learning environment. They need the help of child development specialists who can understand their needs.
Additionally, learning environments can become stressful when based on targets and tests. In such cases, children are often groomed to embrace a herd mentality, which becomes a problem for children with learning disabilities. Instead, we need to embrace diversity and individuality. Every class can have a huge diversity of educational requirements and often, the children require one-on-one support. If they do not receive this support, they get lost in huge classrooms and develop behaviours to deflect from their struggles. The youth need to be encouraged, not deterred.
It has become imperative for us to individualise teaching again. We need to recognise that each child has unique potential and encourage their unique talents. The focus needs to be on each individual child and we need to look at child development from the perspective of differences, not similarities.
To truly empower the youth and embrace individuality, we need to start accepting a broader criterion of success that encompasses more than just grades and money. Schools need to meet the needs of complex learners who require help. Many students carry diverse life experiences and it is up to us to use these experiences to help them achieve success or to deter their growth.
We need to move away from being an ‘ephebiphobic’ society and start empowering the youth and embracing individuality. Society must as respectful to the youth as they expect the youth to be respectful to them.

Creating the opportunity for individual growth.

While raising children, it is imperative to consider and pre-empt what we are preparing them for.

We ourselves have been raised to follow a system that society has deemed valuable, but have we given enough thought into what is actually valuable to us?

As individuals, we’ve grown up without a lot of exposure to creativity and innovation. We’ve been educated by systems that believe in the need to follow a fixed curriculum and achieve specific goals. But the rigidness of our upbringing and the following of convention throughout our lives has cost us the ability to think about what we want to do and find our own purpose.

We’ve been pushed into an archaic system and have become the cogs that propel its convention, creating a culture that discourages us from embracing our individuality. But it’s time we break free out of this vicious cycle by experimenting and taking risks to learn about ourselves and find new skills.

We must begin to find our identity and listen to the feelings that teach us how to be happy. It’s about diagnosing our individuality; realizing who we are and what we want to do. It is only after we know ourselves; our likes, dislikes, capabilities and interests that we can live life well and then teach children how to grow up to be happy and successful in ways that will be meaningful to them.

In schools, children need to be able to explore what they are good at, but classrooms are still restricted by convention. Children are not offered the opportunity to experience more when they are forced to learn inside the boxes that we call classrooms. A classroom, however you arrange it, whether in rows or in circles, is still restricted by four walls. Children have unlimited potential and capabilities, so why are we restricting them?

Education should not revolve solely around building careers, but it should also account for interests and experiences. When children know what they want, they can search for it and identify what matters to them, this in turn will help them understand what academics they would like to pursue. It enables them to automatically be themselves, feel confident about their dreams and nurture their aspirations. It helps them become the designer of their own lives.

However, this belief should not just be restricted to a child’s education, it should be the core of their upbringing. Children should innately desire to find their own identity and express their feelings without having to worry about conforming and being rejected. It can help them to grow as creative individuals.

Additionally, children should also be taught how to regulate the feedback they receive. People offer perceptions and opinions, but if this feedback is not managed well, it often clouds thoughts and interferes with decisions. Children should learn how to think for themselves and form a mindset that understands their own aspirations. They need to seek out experiences that are complementary to their identity.

Afterall, every experience has an impact on our growth; what we do helps nurture our development. Even if the brain’s development takes place majorly until a child is 8 years old, as stated by many early childhood educators, it is still possible for the brain to continue to learn and develop new skills even at 60 or 70 years of age. According to a theory called neuroplasticity, the brain keeps changing and forming new connections, despite a person’s age.

The focus needs to be put on what stimulus is being offered, irrespective of the age. That is why people who explore, travel and keep changing their ways and environment, grow and learn better.

Even in the case of jobs, those who are exposed to more, learn more. They have the opportunity to leverage the novelty of a new experience.

Every person is born with amazing capabilities, but it is how we nurture their individuality that truly matters. We need to adopt a growth-positive mindset to break away from the conventions that tries to take hold of our lives. There needs to be an emphasis on exploring our individuality and finding our identity if we want to live our lives purposefully and bring meaning to the lives of the children we raise.

SPOUSE MANUAL…….

SPOUSE MANUAL………
Guess What?? It’s a two-way Article. Who so ever reads get to know the secrets.
Recognizing and Respecting Your Partner’s Actions and Boundaries

Being in a romantic relationship has many wonderful moments, and can be very fulfilling. It is not always easy, though, and sometimes requires a great deal of work. It can be difficult to learn to read your partners signals, spoken and unspoken. 

It is essential for a healthy relationship, however. Learning to recognize and respect your partnerís actions and boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do for them. Here is what you need to know about it.

Fight Fair

When you disagree with your partner on any issue, it is far too easy to get into an argument about the matter. Choose to fight fair. Don’t call your partnerís character into question, as this is a major violation of boundaries. Stick to the topic at hand and don’t launch a verbal assault on the other party.

Know When to Offer Advice

Be intuitive to your partner and know when they are seeking advice, or just want a listening ear. Offering advice should only be done when requested and should be given in the best interest of your partner. Be sensitive with your advice and be careful not to infringe on their thought process when they simply need you to listen to them.

Respect Their Need for Alone Time

Even when they are in a relationship with someone they love and admire, the need for alone time is big for some individuals. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the person doesn’t like being around you; it’s simply a need that must be respected. When you feel your partner is craving this kind of alone time, offer to take an evening off from each other in order to recharge.

Know When to Walk Away

When you are in an argument and things are getting heated, know when to back off. If you understand your partner, you will realize when things are getting to where both of you will regret the words that might be said next. If your partner walks away or says the conversation is over, choose to respectfully take a break.

Be a Good Student of Body Language

There is no better way to learn your partner’s actions and boundaries than to become an observant student of their body language. Take note of how they act when they are pleased with the situation, and when they are not. Know what signals to watch out for that would indicate they feel you have crossed the line. This will help you know how to fully support them.

Respect Their Words

No means no, and all other words have their own meaning too. When your partner has said something to you, respect it. Never try to push your own agenda in order to get your way. This will only damage the relationship and cause your partner to lose respect for you. Respect your partnerís words in the same way you expect your words to be respected.

Relationships can be tricky things. There seem to be many rules to follow, and these rules can change from one day to the next. One thing that never changes, though, is the need that every human has to have their actions and boundaries respected by their partner. Learn how to do this, and to recognize them even before being said. This will show your partner you care and will make for a healthy relationship that lasts many years.

TRY IT OUT AND YOU CAN REACH ME FOR MORE DISCUSSIONS ON THIS. I AM SURE WE ALL NEED THIS.

TEACHING PARENTS ABOUT PARENTING.

TEACHING PARENTS ABOUT PARENTING.

There is nothing in the world I feel more passionately about, than children, their education and parenting.

These by far have been my most meaningful endeavors. Having worked in the area of early childhood education for more than two decades, I have embraced the nuances of the field and yet, I discover something new each day!

For a long time now, my colleagues, family, and friends have been encouraging me to share my experiences, thoughts and work with the world, and so I decided to let my voice find a medium through this Article. It is not that I have not committed mistakes in my parenting, I did. Parenting has actually brought out the most intense emotions in me. I do not think anything in this world comes close to changing us as a person or our lives, as much as having children. My work is part of a tradition in psychology that shows the power of people beliefs. These may be beliefs we are aware or unaware of, but they unequivocally affect what we want and whether we succeed in achieving our goals. In this article, you will learn how a simple belief about yourself, guides a large part of your life.You will understand your mate, your boss, friends, and your children. You will see how to unleash your potential and your child’s too. Parenting is never about any kind of strategy but it is our philosophy of life in general. It is not about our children but it is

about us becoming more aware, mindful, sensitive and conscious human beings. I really believe that parenting hardly comes naturally to anybody. There are some parents seen, to be made for parenting- their patience, calmness and gentle presence sometimes is beyond belief. For the rest of us, we have to develop these skills and way of being through a lot of conscious effort. Therefore, I do believe, strongly, that parenting has to be inside out process. As parents, we are required to have the belief that we have to first work on ourselves. Whatever issues we might face with children, the question is not what the child needs to do at that point in time, but what we as parents need to reflect on or do .In case, if you are facing a difficulty with your child, simply ask yourself a few questions. How do I feel about it? How is that impacting my child? Is it my need or my child’s? What am I supposed to do as a parent? Now answer them with great transparency and you will exactly know what you are supposed to do.

Another fact about the children is that whatever we focus on, it grows in them. As a parent, if I focus on the child’s weaknesses, it is apparent that those weaknesses will grow. Therefore, it’s always good to work on the strengths of a child in order to initiate growth in that area in particular. Most commonly, this goes very much against the 

common parenting practice- the focus is more on irresponsible lifestyle and weak areas, hence we end up lecturing them, criticizing them for the wrong choices. The more we see the grey areas, the more we crank them up with our negativity. The need, therefore, is to accept children as they are and focus entirely on what they can actually

 do and are capable of. Definitely, children will do well if they are assured of their capabilities.

It is so obvious after seeing a little baby trying to walk. The baby takes small steps forward, looks at his caregivers 

with a beautiful smile, takes another step and then, maybe, falls down. Now imagine, if this baby is continuously guided, counseled, trained and also compared with other children who could walk, then what? I am sure the children lose interest in whatever they are doing. The child might give up and not want to put in efforts again. 

Not only this, we might end up thinking and tell that the child is lazy, or maybe doesn’t want to walk or maybe is tired. Sounds little weird isn’t it? I think it is the self-doubt, that is now stopping the child from keeping pace with

what the child was doing previously. Somehow, I have always been a little confused by a lot of parenting literature out there which aims at categorizing parents into pigeon holes on the basis of parenting tiles and as a result, we hear a lot about different styles of parenting: Permissive, laissez-faire, drill sergeant, helicopter, tiger mum, authoritarian,

authoritative, democratic etc. I have never known which style I fit into! Instead, I am really contented with my own style of parenting, with all its imperfections. It has been strangely interesting to give myself permission to be imperfect. There is no right or wrong way of parenting. If each child is wired and inspired differently, then each 

parent is wired and inspired differently too.

This article is not about making you a perfect parent so that you can have the perfect kids. This is a small effort that will make you feel that you have got a companion for you to reflect, introspect and dive deep to connect to the immense wealth of wisdom that is already there.

Always remember parenting is not about bringing up children. It is about growing up

and transforming, ourselves to be a better human being. It is not about being there FOR

the children but it is exclusively about being there WITH the children.

I see so many examples in my daily schedule, where we as parents keep reminding ourselves that we are here for our children and as a consequence, we really skip being with them.

 It was a great day at my school and It was the ideal opportunity for youngsters to leave for home. A mother, who had come to get her girl, came to me with her little girl and asked, “What influences you to work with kids, what influences you ‘to talk’ to them”. I was going to state my standard answer, “Since I cherish them”.

However abruptly the girl pulled her mom’s dress and stated, “Mamma lets go”. The woman swung to her tyke and in an abrupt voice condemned her, “wouldn’t you be able to see I am conversing with ma’am, how frequently have I told you not to hinder me when I am conversing with anybody, awful behavior”. 

It was at that exact second that I understood that it was not ‘love’ that influenced us to work with kids, but rather it was Regard. On the off chance that I was in the mother’s place, I would have reacted with, -“Indeed, dear, you should be ravenous, I will hustle just a bit with your ma’am” or something comparative.

I would have regarded the youngster needs. Similarly, as I might want others to regard my requirements. Do you mind if a youngster irritates you when you are accomplishing something, yet in the meantime you discover it is flawlessly alright that you burst in when the child is accomplishing something? Do you frequently feel that it is imperative that we control kids, yet it isn’t worthy when youngsters endeavor to control our circumstance? Some places, we are working on a same platform while other some places we think that we are up here and our kids are down there. That is the reason we believe that they should be controlled, told, chastened, and rebuffed.

In some places, we think we are predominant; we know increasingly and subsequently well of the need to ‘drive them’. Yet, what might happen in the event that we think about them as equivalents. What will happen in the event that we approached them with deference, worked with them as though they are as equivalent to us? What are we going to get if we somehow happened to give regard?

However, some places whereby the minute I regarded to the child, the child feels regarded. A kid who feels regarded is considerably more open to tuning in, to comprehend, to take after (the correct things), to participate and to improve things. Envision how it might be in a place where we are not regarded when contrasted with a place where we seem to be? 

Clearly, the youngster will think, feel and act better. Also, we will be in an ideal situation as well! In the event that you lead through dread you will have little regard; however, in the event that you lead through

regard, you will have little to fear.

YOU AND YOUR CHILD

A common conversation between a parent and a child, when the child returns from the school is usually along these lines :

Parent : “How was your day?”

Child : “Good”

Parent : “What did you do today?  “

Child : “Nothing”

Parent : “Why?”

The Child is speechless.

Parent : “Ok Tell me how was your test?”

Child : “Went off good”

Parent : “How much do you think you will score?”

Child : “Don’t know”. And leaves.

How many of us can relate to this sequence of event ; most of us !

‘Learning’ to us, in a way is defined as something that can be measured.

The problem is that it is way too hard to state exactly “What learning is”? Or “how it happens”?

Learning as a psychological activity is something truly difficult to get a handle on. We know very little about the process. There are a lot of theories, but none of them have stood the test of time and few are based on hard data or hypotheses that are supportable.

Most educators know this fact. In order to cover up for this and to make up for the inadequacy in confronting a process that we don’t really comprehend, we do what modern man always does.

WE LABEL SOMETHING (“LEARNING”) AND “MEASURE” IT.

Then we are comfortable, because at least then we have the feeling that we have a grasp on the problem. We don’t really follow the process, but in lieu of a profound understanding of what’s going on, we find something and say, “Let’s declare this to be learning, by consensus. Then we can measure it and put it out of our minds”.

Now, this is exactly what the ENTIRE Educational system the world over has been doing: Quantify learning by breaking it up into measurable pieces – courses, hours, tests and grades.

One of the best stories about this is told by Winston Churchill, concerning his own childhood.

He was a total failure in school. To get into an exclusive high school, he had to go through the formality of an entrance exam. Of course, he knew (as did everybody else) that it made no difference, since he’d end up being accepted anyway, as one of the direct descendants of the duke of Marlborough. But there he was, faced with an entrance exam in Greek and Latin. He looked at the page for an hour and finally handed in an empty paper with his signature on it and a big smudge of ink. They gave upon him entirely and placed him in the dummies class, which learned ENGLISH. So, it happened that Winston Churchill opened his entire high school studying English literature, whereas all the successful “Cultured” people learned   Greek and Latin. It hardly needs a mention that Churchill ended up being one of the finest stylists in the English language in the twentieth century.

The story above mentions that the restraints on the freedom of movement, thought control, obedience and punishment for disobedience, all cannot stop human brain to excel. The system should not focus on outcomes but should give space to children and their learning. If they spend time thinking and learning without being even bothered of the outcome, they surely will be able to think better in their life ahead. Learning will then be taking place and there will hardly be any need to measure it. A perfect blend of environment and freedom works.

Environment that we create for children affects their genes.

For this biological information not to be disturbing, we may need to understand how we can be in charge of own lives in this mechanistic view. Biology makes how we react to our mistakes the only freewill available. All our behaviours are the result of what our brain learned from our environment, so even our attempts at change are programed. We need to be patient as we make even the smallest improvement to our responses to mistakes.

This all makes it crucial that we understand that our thinking is an environment. It is something we can change by noticing-critical thinking-when our thinking isn’t effective. Without critical thinking we are stuck with the other effects of our environment, and all of us have been given limitations by things that went wrong in our environment. If we can’t change our behaviours over time, with patience, it is disturbing that we are too much like a machine.

So the time has Come  now to give space and time to our children to discover themselves .

Are nursery admissions scary?

Turquoise Icons Process Infographic (1)

It is always believed that underlying every behaviour, is a POSITIVE INTENTION. This applies even to seemingly bad or non-productive behaviours (as per the mental state at that point in time of a person). What is important here is to uncover the positive intent, the purpose, of this behaviour, as there is always a reason. Once the purpose is established we can teach or help the person, or our own neurology in this instance, find healthier and more ecological ways to satisfy our intention.

The Intention here is to get the child admitted to a good school and give the child the best education. Isn’t it?

But look at the kind of mental states we find ourselves in, based on which we behave in a certain way, which can be productive or destructive. The question here is to ask yourself, is it really about the admissions that we as parents worry? Or it is more about our own mental states based on perspectives, beliefs, presuppositions?

Can we look at and start working on our own neurology rather working on external data that we collect throughout. Eg:

  1. Admission to grade NUR is very tough.
  2. Nur admission is the only way to get into the mainstream.
  3. Admission in Grade 1 is impossible.
  4. The school with Good name and fame is worth experiencing.
  5. Air-conditioned schools are upgraded schools
  6. The schools using smart boards are necessarily better than non-tech schools. Etc.

We perceive the world through our five senses –the external territory. We then take this external phenomenon and make an internal representation of it –the map. This external map we create of the world outside is influenced by our perceptions, our beliefs, and values. It follows then that what is outside can never be, the exact same as what we create inside our brain. Furthermore, each person, according to his or her own belief system, will create a different map of this same world that we perceive. In other words, we each have our individual map of the world and in order to communicate effectively and easily, it is important to understand the internal reality. In this instance, I have tried to convey that we need to create a better state of mind in order to understand that

MAP IS NOT ALWAYS THE TERRITORY.

NUR ADMISSIONS NOT NECESSARILY BE THE MOST TEDIOUS.

Change yourself, change your states, so that you collect the data that helps you keep calm and achieve what you want, without feeling toxic but full of wisdom. The CHANGE that will be witnessed NOW is the change that matters.

Sonal Ahuja

Parents should always be there for any challenge that a child faces but not #kikiChallenge

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Parents should always be there for any challenge that a child faces but not #kikiChallenge

You must have seen Young Social Media Enthusiasts performing this #kikichallenge on a song “Kiki do you love me”. I have written this piece as an educator and a parent of 2 youngsters myself. My daughter is studying in college and my son is in Sr. Secondary. Before putting down my views on the same it is necessary for me to tell you what this challenge is all about, so in this challenge, a person is required to dance along with a moving car dancing on Kiki do you love me the song and jump right back into the car.

Canadian Rapper Drakes song which is actually “In My Feelings” has this line Kiki Do You Love Me which was topping the charts and was played like a normal chartbuster till the time Shiggy a famous comedian decided to upload this funny clip of his on Instagram where he was dancing along with a moving car on a busy road. Later Shiggy’s friend Odell Beckham Jr who is a footballer also recorded the same kind of video and the world went crazy for it.

My reflection to this challenge is whether somebody named Kiki loves your child or not I am sure as a parent that you surely do feel for your child and you should not allow your child to get into this kind of challenge where he/she can hurt themselves. I am saying this because after a lot of research on the internet I have found youngsters getting hurt hitting the potholes, banging their head on poles and one instance girls bag gets snatched while doing this challenge.

We as parents should always standby our child in each and every challenge they face but unnecessarily be inviting trouble is not a good thing, I advise all the parents to first not give car keys to the youngster till the time he/she is eligible for it and talk to them about this challenge. Try and explain that someone can get hurt attempting this challenge or you yourself can land-up in big trouble doing this challenge as Delhi Police has issued a tweet stating: “Dance on the floors, not on the roads! #KikiChallenge is not worth the fun.#InMyFeelings Keep #Delhi roads safe for all”. Similarly, Mumbai, Punjab, UP and almost all the states have issued a warning for this challenge.

For youngsters, I should say this let’s not express our feelings doing these challenges, take up real challenges in life and make a difference in the society by doing something for the society. Please try and follow the footsteps of some of the great thinkers of the world like Elon Musk or Malala Yusufzai or Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam or Virat Kohli to name a few whom you can look up to. “Be the difference to make the difference”

Periods Aren’t Just About Bleeding Females. Here’s What We Actually Need To Talk About!

Whether it is about a 21-year-old woman dying in Nepal after she was forced to live in a hut due to the fact she was menstruating or about the little girl in Tamil Nadu who committed suicide after being reportedly shamed by her teacher for staining her clothes with menstrual blood in front of her class- menstruation continues to prevail as a curse to women!

Interestingly, many people from different walks of lives have talked openly about it in order to raise awareness and bust the myths and taboos revolving around it.

Recently, another feather added to this cap was the #PadmanChallenge- a marketing strategy used by the Padman Film’s Team in order to promote their film.

Before I raise my point here, I wish to state that I am not protesting against the movie. In fact, the portrayal of the real-life Pad Man and entrepreneur Arunachalam Muruganantham was a much-needed effort.

All I wish to bring forth are the much more important aspects of menstruation that the society as a whole needs to focus on!

NOT EVERYONE USES SANITARY PADS

Did you know, of the 355 million menstruating women in India, only 12 percent use sanitary pads?

The rest switch to unhygienic alternatives such as clothes, ashes, and husk, thereby welcoming severe reproductive health problems.

Celebrities are highly influential people with massive reach and their practices are followed religiously. Maybe educating why holding a pad in hand is okay and distributing them to girls and women across the country would have been a much better alternative than just posing with them.

Educating the child about their use and benefits is what schools, colleges, and communities must encourage.

IT’S OKAY TO TALK OPENLY ABOUT THEIR BODIES!

Majority of women do not find themselves in a comfort zone when it comes to discussing their bodies and problems associated with it openly. How do we expect them to take care of hygiene and prevention of infections during periods?

It’s crucial to teach boys and girls in the early years of education itself how natural this phenomenon is and it’s perfectly normal and not shameful to discuss these issues openly!

WHAT ABOUT THE DISGUST THEY FACE?

A majority of girls, especially in rural areas do not attend schools while they’re menstruating because of the flak they draw from people around in case of an unlikely incident.

The tradition of disallowing them to enter religious places and kitchens is what makes the foundations of these myths even stronger!

PADS- BUT OF WHAT KIND?

Did you know, a woman on an average sheds 125 kilos of menstrual blood in all the years and these plastic pads take 500-800 years to recycle?

Can you even imagine the levels of environmental damage we’re causing because of it?

Use of alternatives like biodegradable pads, menstrual cups, cloth pads etc. needs to reach out to masses!

There’s much more to periods than just bleeding and posing. Holding a pad in hand doesn’t save women from all the health hazards, social stigmas, and humiliation.

Sonal Ahuja

Founder (House of learning)

NEURONS THAT FIRE TOGETHER WIRE TOGETHER

It’s been long and I have been watching my own practices. you know the inquiries that I go over are, why do I need to work when the entire world is at the stop the world state? what is making me suspect as much ?  Can’t I offer myself some BREAK TIME?

The bizarreness now- the inquiries are mine yet the appropriate responses that I get are from the outside world. I mean is this what our life is?

Isn’t it that we have acknowledged today where we were going and what we set out on from quite a while ago. It’s a time of extraordinary Self- Reflection. The meaning of life to me is consistently about being cheerful and battled all through yet the inquiry is would we say we are upbeat today?

Unexpected break in the progression of cash that we had has impacted a large number of us such that we never anticipated. Is that we all are living on the standard of earn and consume?

Take a gander at the business visionaries , work laborers, school pioneers, instructors , every one of them are confronting a Pandemic , one due to COVID and two because of absence of cash and buying power.

My point is to pass on that something that is going on in us has solutions additionally inside us. isn’t it?

Our concerns , our inquiries all can be addressed just by looking inside. Posing right inquiries to self and thus letting the correct synthetic chemicals discharge in our mind. The right chemicals whenever discharged all together can take us to the most sane decisions that we are going to take forever.

Emotional well-being was consistently a matter of concern and now it has been, one of the most highlighted issue in the world.

Imagine a scenario where this isn’t dealt with great care and wisdom.

Imagine a scenario where we continue posing incorrectly inquiries to ourselves and thus trouble our nervous system science.

It will be extraordinary, If we can,  it truly helps since we realize that “neurons that fire together wire together.”

Assist yourself with wiring appropriately to let the correct synthetic compounds stream inside you. Riveting your focus outside of you will continually carry a race to your mind that you will always be unable to deal with and will just wind up taking incorrect decisions.

Like:

  • Don’t pay individuals as you don’t get paid
  • Lay offs is the best way to sustain.
  • Close it to close the concerns
  • Drink more to overlook stresses
  • Smoking is a great idea to unwind

Check what stories are you telling yourself? Are these yours or the ones you are hearing from the outside world? THE CHOICE IS YOURS TO FIRE RIGHT NEURONS TO HAVE THE MOST RESOURCEFUL WIRING.