SPOUSE MANUAL…….

SPOUSE MANUAL………
Guess What?? It’s a two-way Article. Who so ever reads get to know the secrets.
Recognizing and Respecting Your Partner’s Actions and Boundaries

Being in a romantic relationship has many wonderful moments, and can be very fulfilling. It is not always easy, though, and sometimes requires a great deal of work. It can be difficult to learn to read your partners signals, spoken and unspoken. 

It is essential for a healthy relationship, however. Learning to recognize and respect your partnerís actions and boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do for them. Here is what you need to know about it.

Fight Fair

When you disagree with your partner on any issue, it is far too easy to get into an argument about the matter. Choose to fight fair. Don’t call your partnerís character into question, as this is a major violation of boundaries. Stick to the topic at hand and don’t launch a verbal assault on the other party.

Know When to Offer Advice

Be intuitive to your partner and know when they are seeking advice, or just want a listening ear. Offering advice should only be done when requested and should be given in the best interest of your partner. Be sensitive with your advice and be careful not to infringe on their thought process when they simply need you to listen to them.

Respect Their Need for Alone Time

Even when they are in a relationship with someone they love and admire, the need for alone time is big for some individuals. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the person doesn’t like being around you; it’s simply a need that must be respected. When you feel your partner is craving this kind of alone time, offer to take an evening off from each other in order to recharge.

Know When to Walk Away

When you are in an argument and things are getting heated, know when to back off. If you understand your partner, you will realize when things are getting to where both of you will regret the words that might be said next. If your partner walks away or says the conversation is over, choose to respectfully take a break.

Be a Good Student of Body Language

There is no better way to learn your partner’s actions and boundaries than to become an observant student of their body language. Take note of how they act when they are pleased with the situation, and when they are not. Know what signals to watch out for that would indicate they feel you have crossed the line. This will help you know how to fully support them.

Respect Their Words

No means no, and all other words have their own meaning too. When your partner has said something to you, respect it. Never try to push your own agenda in order to get your way. This will only damage the relationship and cause your partner to lose respect for you. Respect your partnerís words in the same way you expect your words to be respected.

Relationships can be tricky things. There seem to be many rules to follow, and these rules can change from one day to the next. One thing that never changes, though, is the need that every human has to have their actions and boundaries respected by their partner. Learn how to do this, and to recognize them even before being said. This will show your partner you care and will make for a healthy relationship that lasts many years.

TRY IT OUT AND YOU CAN REACH ME FOR MORE DISCUSSIONS ON THIS. I AM SURE WE ALL NEED THIS.

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TEACHING PARENTS ABOUT PARENTING.

TEACHING PARENTS ABOUT PARENTING.

There is nothing in the world I feel more passionately about, than children, their education and parenting.

These by far have been my most meaningful endeavors. Having worked in the area of early childhood education for more than two decades, I have embraced the nuances of the field and yet, I discover something new each day!

For a long time now, my colleagues, family, and friends have been encouraging me to share my experiences, thoughts and work with the world, and so I decided to let my voice find a medium through this Article. It is not that I have not committed mistakes in my parenting, I did. Parenting has actually brought out the most intense emotions in me. I do not think anything in this world comes close to changing us as a person or our lives, as much as having children. My work is part of a tradition in psychology that shows the power of people beliefs. These may be beliefs we are aware or unaware of, but they unequivocally affect what we want and whether we succeed in achieving our goals. In this article, you will learn how a simple belief about yourself, guides a large part of your life.You will understand your mate, your boss, friends, and your children. You will see how to unleash your potential and your child’s too. Parenting is never about any kind of strategy but it is our philosophy of life in general. It is not about our children but it is

about us becoming more aware, mindful, sensitive and conscious human beings. I really believe that parenting hardly comes naturally to anybody. There are some parents seen, to be made for parenting- their patience, calmness and gentle presence sometimes is beyond belief. For the rest of us, we have to develop these skills and way of being through a lot of conscious effort. Therefore, I do believe, strongly, that parenting has to be inside out process. As parents, we are required to have the belief that we have to first work on ourselves. Whatever issues we might face with children, the question is not what the child needs to do at that point in time, but what we as parents need to reflect on or do .In case, if you are facing a difficulty with your child, simply ask yourself a few questions. How do I feel about it? How is that impacting my child? Is it my need or my child’s? What am I supposed to do as a parent? Now answer them with great transparency and you will exactly know what you are supposed to do.

Another fact about the children is that whatever we focus on, it grows in them. As a parent, if I focus on the child’s weaknesses, it is apparent that those weaknesses will grow. Therefore, it’s always good to work on the strengths of a child in order to initiate growth in that area in particular. Most commonly, this goes very much against the 

common parenting practice- the focus is more on irresponsible lifestyle and weak areas, hence we end up lecturing them, criticizing them for the wrong choices. The more we see the grey areas, the more we crank them up with our negativity. The need, therefore, is to accept children as they are and focus entirely on what they can actually

 do and are capable of. Definitely, children will do well if they are assured of their capabilities.

It is so obvious after seeing a little baby trying to walk. The baby takes small steps forward, looks at his caregivers 

with a beautiful smile, takes another step and then, maybe, falls down. Now imagine, if this baby is continuously guided, counseled, trained and also compared with other children who could walk, then what? I am sure the children lose interest in whatever they are doing. The child might give up and not want to put in efforts again. 

Not only this, we might end up thinking and tell that the child is lazy, or maybe doesn’t want to walk or maybe is tired. Sounds little weird isn’t it? I think it is the self-doubt, that is now stopping the child from keeping pace with

what the child was doing previously. Somehow, I have always been a little confused by a lot of parenting literature out there which aims at categorizing parents into pigeon holes on the basis of parenting tiles and as a result, we hear a lot about different styles of parenting: Permissive, laissez-faire, drill sergeant, helicopter, tiger mum, authoritarian,

authoritative, democratic etc. I have never known which style I fit into! Instead, I am really contented with my own style of parenting, with all its imperfections. It has been strangely interesting to give myself permission to be imperfect. There is no right or wrong way of parenting. If each child is wired and inspired differently, then each 

parent is wired and inspired differently too.

This article is not about making you a perfect parent so that you can have the perfect kids. This is a small effort that will make you feel that you have got a companion for you to reflect, introspect and dive deep to connect to the immense wealth of wisdom that is already there.

Always remember parenting is not about bringing up children. It is about growing up

and transforming, ourselves to be a better human being. It is not about being there FOR

the children but it is exclusively about being there WITH the children.

I see so many examples in my daily schedule, where we as parents keep reminding ourselves that we are here for our children and as a consequence, we really skip being with them.

 It was a great day at my school and It was the ideal opportunity for youngsters to leave for home. A mother, who had come to get her girl, came to me with her little girl and asked, “What influences you to work with kids, what influences you ‘to talk’ to them”. I was going to state my standard answer, “Since I cherish them”.

However abruptly the girl pulled her mom’s dress and stated, “Mamma lets go”. The woman swung to her tyke and in an abrupt voice condemned her, “wouldn’t you be able to see I am conversing with ma’am, how frequently have I told you not to hinder me when I am conversing with anybody, awful behavior”. 

It was at that exact second that I understood that it was not ‘love’ that influenced us to work with kids, but rather it was Regard. On the off chance that I was in the mother’s place, I would have reacted with, -“Indeed, dear, you should be ravenous, I will hustle just a bit with your ma’am” or something comparative.

I would have regarded the youngster needs. Similarly, as I might want others to regard my requirements. Do you mind if a youngster irritates you when you are accomplishing something, yet in the meantime you discover it is flawlessly alright that you burst in when the child is accomplishing something? Do you frequently feel that it is imperative that we control kids, yet it isn’t worthy when youngsters endeavor to control our circumstance? Some places, we are working on a same platform while other some places we think that we are up here and our kids are down there. That is the reason we believe that they should be controlled, told, chastened, and rebuffed.

In some places, we think we are predominant; we know increasingly and subsequently well of the need to ‘drive them’. Yet, what might happen in the event that we think about them as equivalents. What will happen in the event that we approached them with deference, worked with them as though they are as equivalent to us? What are we going to get if we somehow happened to give regard?

However, some places whereby the minute I regarded to the child, the child feels regarded. A kid who feels regarded is considerably more open to tuning in, to comprehend, to take after (the correct things), to participate and to improve things. Envision how it might be in a place where we are not regarded when contrasted with a place where we seem to be? 

Clearly, the youngster will think, feel and act better. Also, we will be in an ideal situation as well! In the event that you lead through dread you will have little regard; however, in the event that you lead through

regard, you will have little to fear.

YOU AND YOUR CHILD

A common conversation between a parent and a child, when the child returns from the school is usually along these lines :

Parent : “How was your day?”

Child : “Good”

Parent : “What did you do today?  “

Child : “Nothing”

Parent : “Why?”

The Child is speechless.

Parent : “Ok Tell me how was your test?”

Child : “Went off good”

Parent : “How much do you think you will score?”

Child : “Don’t know”. And leaves.

How many of us can relate to this sequence of event ; most of us !

‘Learning’ to us, in a way is defined as something that can be measured.

The problem is that it is way too hard to state exactly “What learning is”? Or “how it happens”?

Learning as a psychological activity is something truly difficult to get a handle on. We know very little about the process. There are a lot of theories, but none of them have stood the test of time and few are based on hard data or hypotheses that are supportable.

Most educators know this fact. In order to cover up for this and to make up for the inadequacy in confronting a process that we don’t really comprehend, we do what modern man always does.

WE LABEL SOMETHING (“LEARNING”) AND “MEASURE” IT.

Then we are comfortable, because at least then we have the feeling that we have a grasp on the problem. We don’t really follow the process, but in lieu of a profound understanding of what’s going on, we find something and say, “Let’s declare this to be learning, by consensus. Then we can measure it and put it out of our minds”.

Now, this is exactly what the ENTIRE Educational system the world over has been doing: Quantify learning by breaking it up into measurable pieces – courses, hours, tests and grades.

One of the best stories about this is told by Winston Churchill, concerning his own childhood.

He was a total failure in school. To get into an exclusive high school, he had to go through the formality of an entrance exam. Of course, he knew (as did everybody else) that it made no difference, since he’d end up being accepted anyway, as one of the direct descendants of the duke of Marlborough. But there he was, faced with an entrance exam in Greek and Latin. He looked at the page for an hour and finally handed in an empty paper with his signature on it and a big smudge of ink. They gave upon him entirely and placed him in the dummies class, which learned ENGLISH. So, it happened that Winston Churchill opened his entire high school studying English literature, whereas all the successful “Cultured” people learned   Greek and Latin. It hardly needs a mention that Churchill ended up being one of the finest stylists in the English language in the twentieth century.

The story above mentions that the restraints on the freedom of movement, thought control, obedience and punishment for disobedience, all cannot stop human brain to excel. The system should not focus on outcomes but should give space to children and their learning. If they spend time thinking and learning without being even bothered of the outcome, they surely will be able to think better in their life ahead. Learning will then be taking place and there will hardly be any need to measure it. A perfect blend of environment and freedom works.

Environment that we create for children affects their genes.

For this biological information not to be disturbing, we may need to understand how we can be in charge of own lives in this mechanistic view. Biology makes how we react to our mistakes the only freewill available. All our behaviours are the result of what our brain learned from our environment, so even our attempts at change are programed. We need to be patient as we make even the smallest improvement to our responses to mistakes.

This all makes it crucial that we understand that our thinking is an environment. It is something we can change by noticing-critical thinking-when our thinking isn’t effective. Without critical thinking we are stuck with the other effects of our environment, and all of us have been given limitations by things that went wrong in our environment. If we can’t change our behaviours over time, with patience, it is disturbing that we are too much like a machine.

So the time has Come  now to give space and time to our children to discover themselves .

Are nursery admissions scary?

Turquoise Icons Process Infographic (1)

It is always believed that underlying every behaviour, is a POSITIVE INTENTION. This applies even to seemingly bad or non-productive behaviours (as per the mental state at that point in time of a person). What is important here is to uncover the positive intent, the purpose, of this behaviour, as there is always a reason. Once the purpose is established we can teach or help the person, or our own neurology in this instance, find healthier and more ecological ways to satisfy our intention.

The Intention here is to get the child admitted to a good school and give the child the best education. Isn’t it?

But look at the kind of mental states we find ourselves in, based on which we behave in a certain way, which can be productive or destructive. The question here is to ask yourself, is it really about the admissions that we as parents worry? Or it is more about our own mental states based on perspectives, beliefs, presuppositions?

Can we look at and start working on our own neurology rather working on external data that we collect throughout. Eg:

  1. Admission to grade NUR is very tough.
  2. Nur admission is the only way to get into the mainstream.
  3. Admission in Grade 1 is impossible.
  4. The school with Good name and fame is worth experiencing.
  5. Air-conditioned schools are upgraded schools
  6. The schools using smart boards are necessarily better than non-tech schools. Etc.

We perceive the world through our five senses –the external territory. We then take this external phenomenon and make an internal representation of it –the map. This external map we create of the world outside is influenced by our perceptions, our beliefs, and values. It follows then that what is outside can never be, the exact same as what we create inside our brain. Furthermore, each person, according to his or her own belief system, will create a different map of this same world that we perceive. In other words, we each have our individual map of the world and in order to communicate effectively and easily, it is important to understand the internal reality. In this instance, I have tried to convey that we need to create a better state of mind in order to understand that

MAP IS NOT ALWAYS THE TERRITORY.

NUR ADMISSIONS NOT NECESSARILY BE THE MOST TEDIOUS.

Change yourself, change your states, so that you collect the data that helps you keep calm and achieve what you want, without feeling toxic but full of wisdom. The CHANGE that will be witnessed NOW is the change that matters.

Sonal Ahuja

Parents should always be there for any challenge that a child faces but not #kikiChallenge

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Parents should always be there for any challenge that a child faces but not #kikiChallenge

You must have seen Young Social Media Enthusiasts performing this #kikichallenge on a song “Kiki do you love me”. I have written this piece as an educator and a parent of 2 youngsters myself. My daughter is studying in college and my son is in Sr. Secondary. Before putting down my views on the same it is necessary for me to tell you what this challenge is all about, so in this challenge, a person is required to dance along with a moving car dancing on Kiki do you love me the song and jump right back into the car.

Canadian Rapper Drakes song which is actually “In My Feelings” has this line Kiki Do You Love Me which was topping the charts and was played like a normal chartbuster till the time Shiggy a famous comedian decided to upload this funny clip of his on Instagram where he was dancing along with a moving car on a busy road. Later Shiggy’s friend Odell Beckham Jr who is a footballer also recorded the same kind of video and the world went crazy for it.

My reflection to this challenge is whether somebody named Kiki loves your child or not I am sure as a parent that you surely do feel for your child and you should not allow your child to get into this kind of challenge where he/she can hurt themselves. I am saying this because after a lot of research on the internet I have found youngsters getting hurt hitting the potholes, banging their head on poles and one instance girls bag gets snatched while doing this challenge.

We as parents should always standby our child in each and every challenge they face but unnecessarily be inviting trouble is not a good thing, I advise all the parents to first not give car keys to the youngster till the time he/she is eligible for it and talk to them about this challenge. Try and explain that someone can get hurt attempting this challenge or you yourself can land-up in big trouble doing this challenge as Delhi Police has issued a tweet stating: “Dance on the floors, not on the roads! #KikiChallenge is not worth the fun.#InMyFeelings Keep #Delhi roads safe for all”. Similarly, Mumbai, Punjab, UP and almost all the states have issued a warning for this challenge.

For youngsters, I should say this let’s not express our feelings doing these challenges, take up real challenges in life and make a difference in the society by doing something for the society. Please try and follow the footsteps of some of the great thinkers of the world like Elon Musk or Malala Yusufzai or Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam or Virat Kohli to name a few whom you can look up to. “Be the difference to make the difference”

Periods Aren’t Just About Bleeding Females. Here’s What We Actually Need To Talk About!

Whether it is about a 21-year-old woman dying in Nepal after she was forced to live in a hut due to the fact she was menstruating or about the little girl in Tamil Nadu who committed suicide after being reportedly shamed by her teacher for staining her clothes with menstrual blood in front of her class- menstruation continues to prevail as a curse to women!

Interestingly, many people from different walks of lives have talked openly about it in order to raise awareness and bust the myths and taboos revolving around it.

Recently, another feather added to this cap was the #PadmanChallenge- a marketing strategy used by the Padman Film’s Team in order to promote their film.

Before I raise my point here, I wish to state that I am not protesting against the movie. In fact, the portrayal of the real-life Pad Man and entrepreneur Arunachalam Muruganantham was a much-needed effort.

All I wish to bring forth are the much more important aspects of menstruation that the society as a whole needs to focus on!

NOT EVERYONE USES SANITARY PADS

Did you know, of the 355 million menstruating women in India, only 12 percent use sanitary pads?

The rest switch to unhygienic alternatives such as clothes, ashes, and husk, thereby welcoming severe reproductive health problems.

Celebrities are highly influential people with massive reach and their practices are followed religiously. Maybe educating why holding a pad in hand is okay and distributing them to girls and women across the country would have been a much better alternative than just posing with them.

Educating the child about their use and benefits is what schools, colleges, and communities must encourage.

IT’S OKAY TO TALK OPENLY ABOUT THEIR BODIES!

Majority of women do not find themselves in a comfort zone when it comes to discussing their bodies and problems associated with it openly. How do we expect them to take care of hygiene and prevention of infections during periods?

It’s crucial to teach boys and girls in the early years of education itself how natural this phenomenon is and it’s perfectly normal and not shameful to discuss these issues openly!

WHAT ABOUT THE DISGUST THEY FACE?

A majority of girls, especially in rural areas do not attend schools while they’re menstruating because of the flak they draw from people around in case of an unlikely incident.

The tradition of disallowing them to enter religious places and kitchens is what makes the foundations of these myths even stronger!

PADS- BUT OF WHAT KIND?

Did you know, a woman on an average sheds 125 kilos of menstrual blood in all the years and these plastic pads take 500-800 years to recycle?

Can you even imagine the levels of environmental damage we’re causing because of it?

Use of alternatives like biodegradable pads, menstrual cups, cloth pads etc. needs to reach out to masses!

There’s much more to periods than just bleeding and posing. Holding a pad in hand doesn’t save women from all the health hazards, social stigmas, and humiliation.

Sonal Ahuja

Founder (House of learning)

Insights with Sonal

In my daily life, my profession makes me come across many individuals, one such occasion was the workshops that I recently conducted at Amity International Schools with regards to the emotional and social well-being of educators and facilitators as well the importance of time and stress management for them.

I know what you’re thinking… “What in the world does THAT have to do with how I manage my time?” The truth is, so much of managing your time is about managing your energy. And while physical energy is important, your mental and emotional energy is also essential in giving you the motivation and clarity to work on the tasks that will give you the greatest sense of accomplishment.

The term “emotional intelligence” first appeared in 1964 in a paper written by Michael Beldoch. It was in 1995, however, that the concept became better known due to a book on the topic written by Daniel Goleman. Dr. Travis Bradberry has a fantastic book on emotional intelligence as well, entitled Emotional Intelligence 2.0.

Simply defined, emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions.

If I were to ask you about your best technique to wisely manage your time, you would probably share a routine you follow at work or home. You might start listing tactics like “Do the hardest task early in the day,” or “Only check emails three times a day.” I’d be willing to wager you wouldn’t say, “I manage my emotions well.”

If you’re looking for a fresh strategy for managing your time more effectively, consider how well you are doing in these four areas of emotional intelligence:

Self-Awareness

The focus here is on recognizing and understanding your moods, emotions, and what drives you. Do you notice how different tasks impact your desire to work on the next item in your day? When possible, do you plan your day by alternating activities that add or take away your mental or emotional energy? And do you reflect on the larger purpose for which you are completing your tasks? Checking off 37 things may give your brain quick shots of endorphin, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re getting your most important things done-which is the whole reason to manage your time well.

Self-Management

Ever looked at the next item in your day and felt overwhelmed or anxious? Here’s the bigger question: How did you handle the impulse to work on something else? Self-management is all about recognizing disruptive impulses and controlling them. So instead of choosing to check your email to avoid a difficult task, you choose to break down the task into more manageable steps. Or you remind yourself of more difficult tasks you’ve undertaken lately at which you were successful to gain more confidence.

Social Awareness

For this area, think empathy. How good are you at recognizing the emotions of other people? If your job requires you to make requests of other people to get your work done (and most do), do you stop and reflect on how the request will make them feel? Most importantly, does that knowledge or insight change the way you frame the request? We’ve all experienced a leader or supervisor who seemed to be blind (or unconcerned) to our emotional state, and how it impacted our motivation to accept the task and/or complete it well.

Relationship Management

For leaders and managers who want to use their time well, this area of emotional intelligence is critical. Your best work comes from the full engagement of every team member. And the only way you can get that level of engagement is to know how to communicate with them in a way that connects with them on both a mental and emotional level.

This workshop was not only an enriching and learning experience for me but also a rejuvenating and revitalizing experience for the faculty and staff of Amity International Schools.

So, if you’re looking to take your time management skills to the next level, maybe you should stop trying to figure out how to squeeze another hour out of your day. Start spending a little more time reflecting on how your emotions are increasing or decreasing the energy you need to get the right work done.

#HouseOfLearning #SonalAhuja #TimeManagement #StressManagement#EmotionalIntelligence #AmityInternationalSchools#ProfessionalDevelopmentProgram #TeacherTrainingProgram#AmitySchools #EmotionManagement #TeamManagement#SelfManagement #SelfAwareness

Sonal Ahuja Amity International School Noida

Apna Time Aayega

House of Learning (HOL), under the guidance of Mr. Chanderjit Devgan , Secretary, Delhi Legal Services Authority(DLSA) and Sonal Ahuja, the Founder of HOL and an “Educational Alchemist” took up a task for rehabilitation of juveniles, titled Apna Time Aayega. She assumed a noteworthy job in sharpening the specialists to allow this undertaking as it was structured remembering the long haul change in the nervous system science of these kids. The truly necessary activity for their better future and to likewise to help the nation is to sharpen them enough with the goal that they can add to the prosperity of themselves and the general public. Sonal united individuals from varied backgrounds to add to this undertaking. From Corporate trainers, doctors, pilots, NLP experts, chartered accountants, everyone was needed to play their part to make this project successful.

The Key participants in the project were: Sonal Ahuja, Founder HOL, an early childhood education expert as well as a child and educational psychology diploma holder. She spearheaded the project. Priyanka Gulati, Principal of a reputed school of East Delhi is an NLP practitioner and a Certified International Workshop ‘Heal Your Life’ Leader. Susha P Roy has 14 years of work experience in the corporate world and in the print media. She has been working as a School counselor since 2005.

Pallavi has been in the education field for many years, currently she is working with DAV school. Sahil Verma has been a passionate content developer for the past 8 years and is currently working with Value 360 Communications, one of India’s leading and award-winning PR agencies. Gp Capt (Retd) Arvind Tripathi, served with the IAF for 27 years and now is a commercial pilot for Indigo Airlines. Chandrika is an Excellence Installation Specialist, Strategic Intervention Life Coach & a Soft Skill Trainer since 2016. Disha is a Chartered Accountant and a change-expert, NLP Master Practitioner and Excellence Installation Specialist. Prof. (Dr) Smita Manjavkar is an MBBS, MD Medicine, Professor, Dept. Of Medicine, HIMSR & HAHC Hospital with 17 years of teaching experience.

The project was divided into 4 stages to provide a better experience and consecutive results.


Stage 1 was the Diagnosis to understand what’s happening in their life, their circumstances, and the reasons of their choices. Getting into their life cycles and understanding, empathizing and listening to them for every individual took 2-3 hours.

We call it ATC. Adjustments x Time= Consequences.

In this stage, a great rapport was built between the children and team, each child opened up further about their circumstances and hardships, providing an insight into their lives for us.

All teenagers take stupid risks that they one day look back on and wonder what they were thinking. But studies have found it is not because teens aren’t thinking about the risks involved—it’s because they think about them longer than adults.

Yes, that’s counter-intuitive. But think of it like this: If you are on a diet and see a piece of yummy chocolate cake, are you more likely to eat it if you just glance at it, remember you are trying to eat healthy, and walk away, or if you sit there and mull over the pros and cons of eating it? The latter, obviously.

It’s the same with the teen brain. Our brains take a lot longer to fully form than was previously thought. In teens, the frontal lobe (where our decision making happens) is not as connected to the rest of the brain as it is later in life. This means teens literally cannot come to a decision as fast as an adult. Teens take an average of 170 milliseconds longer to go over the consequences of a decision, which in turn makes them more likely to decide the risk is worth it.

Stage 2 was the Creation of a to-do list for thriving eco system to support better neurology. By understanding the psychology of each child, the team could chalk out more personal plans of action and cater to each child’s need separately better. Adding friends to the mix, makes it even harder for teens to avoid taking risks.

Adults wonder why their kids’ friends can influence them so much. That’s because once you are an adult, your brain has quite literally grown out of it.

This means that teens, when spending that tiny bit of extra time deciding what choice to make, are also fighting against the overwhelming internal drive that tells us to do things that feel good. As the brain develops in adulthood, however, that connection ends and we end up getting no extra good feeling from taking risks in front of our friends.

Stage 3 was Rigorous research work and conversational programming done using scientific procedures and metaphors for individual assessment. We were met with objections, but we left no stone unturned to remove these and brought them to the state that they wanted us to be with them for longer even after the completion of project. This stage checked resilience of both parties. Theirs and ours too. It was the most challenging stage. While teens may look more like adults than kids, to a neuroscientist their brains resemble a child’s. That’s part of the reason teens suddenly starts acting like toddlers again around age 14. While their bodies are aging, their brain is rearranging itself in a way that temporarily makes it act the same way it did when they were younger.

But if you are in your twenties and have been feeling cocky up until this point, it’s important to note that this chaotic brain makeup doesn’t completely settle down until your early thirties.

Stage 4 was to assess the will power of the children in being resourceful and capability to take better decisions in the future. Final stage was full integration stage. Reflections, sharing, open commitments, readiness, promises, love, care, self-improvement, resilience, all were seen in this stage. If teens seem to not care about other people’s feelings or seem to flip out over nothing, it might not be because they are drama queens. Studies have found that teens have a much harder time correctly interpreting vocal inflection and facial expressions from other people, and so they sometimes react irrationally to emotional situations.

This stage will be followed by revisits to check their states of mind and progress reports. Undeniably, to plan prevention programs, there is a need to better understand students’ opinions of their educator’s language used in classrooms such as science, social studies, and math. Additionally, it is important to know adolescents’ views about their own listening behaviors. It is hypothesized that this type of information could provide new ideas to potentially use for prevention, intervention, and mentoring purposes. Findings might serve as one piece of information effecting positive rather than negative school outcomes for adolescents involved in violence. Though the data and findings will be from girls in trouble with the law and who have experienced school failure, it can serve many at-risk students struggling with the challenging demands of school.

Juvenile crime is one of the nation’s serious problems. Concern about it is widely shared by federal, state, and local government officials and by the public. In recent years, this concern has grown with the dramatic rise in juvenile violence that began in the mid-1980’s and peaked in the early 1990’s. Although juvenile crime rates appear to have fallen since the mid-1990’s, this decrease has not alleviated the concern. Many states began taking a tougher legislative stance toward juveniles in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s, a period during which juvenile crime rates were stable or falling slightly, and federal reformers were urging prevention and less punitive measures.

Research over the past few decades on normal child development and on development of delinquent behavior has shown that individual, social, and community conditions as well as their interactions influence behavior. There is general agreement that behavior, including antisocial and delinquent behavior, is the result of a complex interplay of individual biological and genetic factors and environmental factors, starting during fetal development and continuing throughout life Clearly, genes affect biological development, but there is no biological development without environmental input. Thus, both biology and environment influence behavior.

Conclusively, the entire project was an immense success with children learning not only to trust themselves and their surroundings again but also gaining a better and fair understanding of their future ahead. The team grew with the young adults, sharing experiences and laughter along with life lessons that only come from experience and self-reflection. A society where these kids aren’t ostracised but are loved and nurtured so that they can one day experience their fullest potential is the day that we, at House of Learning worked and will continue to work for.

Parents of teens often wonder what happened to the bright child they used to have. How can someone go from getting A’s to getting C’s when they seem to be doing the same amount of work? Once again, changes in the brain are to blame. While the merits of IQ tests are debatable, scientists used to think IQ stayed the same over one’s lifetime. Now it turns out that number can fluctuate widely in adolescence.

This makes sense biologically; why should your brain waste energy remembering things that aren’t very necessary to your day to day life? It’s one of the reasons that younger children can learn a second language much faster than adults; they have more synapses to store that information. And if they keep speaking that second language often enough, they will remember it the rest of their lives.

But if there is a subject they didn’t concentrate so hard on, like math, suddenly they start forgetting things they used to know because the brain is deleting that information.

As Mark Twain said, “When a child turns 12, he should be kept in a barrel and fed through the bung hole, until he reaches 16 … at which time you plug the bung hole.”

Presence of gadgets leads to absence of life.

Chronically irritable children are often in a state of abnormally high arousal, and may seem “wired and tired.”
Both parents and clinicians may be “barking up the wrong tree.” That is, they’re trying to treat what looks like a textbook case of irritability and apathy, but failing to rule out and address the most common environmental cause of such symptoms—everyday use of electronics. Time and again, I’ve realized that successfully treating a child requires methodically eliminating all electronics use for several weeks—an “electronics fast”—to allow the nervous system to “reset.”

Here’s a look at six physiological mechanisms that explain electronics’ tendency to produce mood disturbance:

1. Screen time disrupts sleep and desynchronizes the body clock.

Because light from screen devices mimics daytime, it suppresses melatonin, a sleep signal released by darkness. Once the body clock is disrupted, all sorts of other unhealthy reactions occur, such as hormonal imbalances and brain inflammation.

2. Screen time desensitizes the brain’s reward system.

Many children are “hooked” on electronics, and in fact gaming releases so much dopamine—the “feel-good” chemical—that on a brain scan it looks the same as cocaine use. Meanwhile, dopamine is also critical for focus and motivation, so needless to say, even small changes in dopamine sensitivity can wreak havoc on how well a child feels and functions.

3. Screen time produces “light-at-night.”

Light-at-night from electronics has been linked to depression and even suicide risk in numerous studies. Sometimes parents are reluctant to restrict electronics use in a child’s bedroom because they worry the child will enter a state of despair—but in fact removing light-at-night is protective.

4. Screen time induces stress reactions.

Both acute stress (fight-or-flight) and chronic stress produce changes in brain chemistry and hormones that can increase irritability. Additionally, both hyper arousal and addiction pathways suppress the brain’s frontal lobe, the area where mood regulation actually takes place.

5. Screen time overloads the sensory system, fractures attention, and depletes mental reserves.

Experts say that what’s often behind explosive and aggressive behavior is poor focus. By depleting mental energy with high visual and cognitive input, screen time contributes to low reserves.

6. Screen-time reduces physical activity levels and exposure to “green time.”

Research shows that time outdoors, especially interacting with nature, can restore attention, lower stress, and reduce aggression. Thus, time spent with electronics reduces exposure to natural mood enhancers.

In today’s world, it may seem crazy to restrict electronics so drastically. But when kids are struggling, we’re not doing them any favors by leaving electronics in place and hoping they can wind down by using electronics in “moderation.” In contrast, by allowing the nervous system to return to a more natural state with a strict fast, we can take the first step in helping a child become calmer, stronger, and happier.

#HouseOfLearning #SonalAhuja #EarlyChildhoodEducation #EarlyChildhood #EarlyYears #EarlyChildhoodEducator #Educator #Parenting #MindfulParenting #ParentingStyle #DigitalEra #Gadgets #Children

Drive Technology, Don’t Get Driven by it- an Expert’s Opinion!

As an educator and a guide to parents for years, one significant concern that has risen over the last ten years is the addiction to technology- mobiles, tablets, virtual games, social media challenges and much more.

Every time I get a chance to interact with parents or teachers, the emergence of this discussion seems inevitable. According to my viewpoint, it is extremely crucial for parents to understand the repercussions of it much before the children- because ultimately, children are a reflection of what they see.

It is undeniably true that technology or robots have reduced human efforts and has made life much easier. However, the problem arises when the technology starts driving us and not vice-versa.

Here are a few things that must be taken into consideration-

ROBOTS AFFECT EMOTIONAL CONNECTS

The most commonly heard complaint from parents is that their children do not spend enough time with them because of their constant engagement with their mobile phones and other electronic gadgets. This ends up in lack of effective communication between parents and children which ultimately results is affected emotional relationships which leave people disheartened and sometimes drives them into depression as well.

Setting some rules in your household (for example, no mobile phones should be allowed on the dining table, while studying or talking to the parent) are essential in order to ensure stable emotional relationships.

WHAT ABOUT THE NECESSARY PHYSICAL WORKOUT?

According to doctors and other specialists, a person (child or adult) must engage in moderate or vigorous physical activities for 60 minutes a day. With the technological advancement, things have tended to reach doorsteps at the click of a finger and therefore, have made the young generation lazy and lethargic.

Parents must encourage children to explore the surroundings or indulge them in physical activities in order to ensure physical and mental well-being.

THERE’S JUST ONE WAY TO DEVELOP THE BRAIN- USE IT

Majority of the brain development happens in the early childhood days and every individual continues to evolve depending upon the experiences, parent rearing styles, educational institutions and peer groups. Experts have assured that there’s just one way to ensure brain development- use it!

With excessive exposure to robots and the virtual world, the use of brain will not be much, therefore, the neural connection will not form at the rate that a human brain should do- this harms the neurological development.

LOOK UP- LOOK BEYOND THE SCREENS

We live in a world that is beautiful and exquisite in every sense. Technology, to some extent, has created the mental state called boredom. It has fed children and adults with so much that in its absence; they feel bored and subsequently become unaware of their surroundings, which are completely full of new adventures each day. We are unaware of those because as we try to explore something we haven’t come across before, we have technology at our dispersal to express and overcome boredom.

We are now living in a world that is increasingly being designed to depress us, where love is being subjected to conditions, where people are no longer living their version of themselves, where motivation fails to last very long, where people have put up their lives online and they no longer crave for words and depth, desires and fears. It’s extremely important to ensure that we drive and guide technology and not get driven by it!

3 Reasons Why You Must Read ‘OVERCOMING PARENTING MYTHS’

When you search for the best parenting books on the internet, there is a storm of them with each book claiming to make you a better parent, a better confidant, a better teacher.

With passing time and changing beliefs, parenting has taken a new dimension altogether. The way to deal with kids has tremendously changed over the years. The times in which we grew up as children were in contrast to those prevailing now.

Having worked as a learning evangelist and trainer for more than two decades, I have personally observed this drastic transformation and have dealt with nuances of it with thousands of children, teachers, and parents.

‘Overcoming Parenting Myths’ is a reflection of my journey as a parent, teacher, trainer and most importantly, a learner. It is an effort to offer practical solutions to the lingering questions by parents and educators for years in a refreshing way. In this book, I have tried to put forth suggestions that are simple and easy to follow.

But why do parents and educators have to read this book when there are so many other options available? I have curated three simple reasons-

IT IS BASED ON THE POWER OF BELIEFS

The power of beliefs is an incredible concept that has moved mountains and transformed the lives of many. It is one of the most overlooked superpowers in the world. ‘Overcoming Parenting Myths’ allows you to reflect on and challenge your power of beliefs and how it can help you be better parents, educators who can raise perseverant, confident, hopeful and resilient children- children, who are just not their kids but also the next generation.

IT MAKES YOU REFLECT, INTROSPECT AND RESPECT

In order to be able to give better lives to children, we need to first put on our oxygen masks. Usually, parents and teachers overlook their needs and aspirations as a part of the upbringing process. However, that’s not how the idea of parenting works. As per my vision and experience, parenting or raising children is about reflecting on your own actions, introspecting your own beliefs and respecting the child’s needs.

IT TEACHES YOU TO BE NOT FOR CHILDREN, BUT WITH CHILDREN

A child does not need ‘only love’ to be able to feel safe and protected. What children nowadays demand is uninterrupted attention and assurance of being taken care of.

‘Overcoming Parenting Myths’ talks about how you need not be for your children and rather influence your actions in a way that you tend to be with your children.

I’m sure that the parents and educators will find the book as a ready reckoner and useful referral to realign their views and approaches to child rearing and parenting.

– SONAL AHUJA